In my online discussions I often get questions from couples who are facing economic issues. Q I'm getting married next summer and my fiance and I are in a lot of debt. We live together and have two children. There is a breakdown in communication when it comes to our finances. I have recommended we talk to a credit counselor, but he shuts down and does not want to talk about it, he agreed to go to premarital counseling. I don't know where to start to get out of debt. I have tried to budget. I feel overwhelmed.
You have a right to be concerned. When a partner refuses to talk when you are trying to work out the financial stuff, is there a big red flag. Communication is key when it comes to money, and if there is a problem now, it will not get better with a ring. The way to find out if you are going to get married is to take him on his interest will be premarital counseling. Go soon, before you put a slant on all the wedding arrangements. For now, don't stress about what he usually do. Let it all come out in counseling with a neutral party. Find a really great premarital counseling course or instructor. During the search, make sure that the person or program provides technologies to help budget and deal with debt in addition to the emotional issues.
My husband and I rent an apartment but would like to purchase a House soon. We have about $ 11,000 in bill consolidation loan. We have $ 12,000 in savings. Disaster relief fund is what's in our savings, but I can put at least $ 500 per month there, so is the building. It would be wiser to keep paying the loan (minimum is $ 350 per month, but I usually pay $ 700 to $ 1,000) and save what we can, or take money from savings and pay off the loan and then build an emergency fund back up again?
This is what I would do:
- Calculate how much you need for an emergency fund for at least three months of living expenses (rent or mortgage, food, utilities, cable, phone service, etc.). This will give you a benchmark of what you should have on hand before you even think about buying a House.
- Designate about $ 2,000 for a "life happens Fund" for expenses that come up, such as car repairs. Take this money out of the $ 12,000 and put it in an account separate from your emergency money. This leaves you $ 10,000.
- Put $ 5,000 as the beginning for your Emergency Fund. When you reach the goal three months and then start saving for the Housing Fund.
- Take the rest of your savings--$ 5,000--and pay down the loan, $ 11,000. If you are paying upwards of $ 1,000 per month on the loan, you'll be done with it in six months.
My partner continues to run up credit cards and I keep to help him pay them. he promises me every month that he will not do it again. But sure enough, like clockwork, he runs them again in a few weeks, mainly through online shopping when he is bored. Some tips on how to help him to stop?
Stop yourself. You are part of the problem. He knows that you will be there with the money for a bailout. The end to help him and he has to deal with its problems.
My girlfriend of two years, about $ 50,000 in debt and donates $ 3,000 to $ 5,000 per year to various charitable events. I have no problem giving to charity, but am I a bad person for paying off the debt would come before giving away about 20 percent of her take-home pay? Right now her money and she can do what she wants, but I am thinking of the future when we married.
I think it's great she would give, but you're right to be concerned that she is not able to aggressively attack the debt. But the answer is not to encourage her to stop giving. Instead, say: "honey, I'm worried about how much you are in debt. Do you mind if I help you budget or recommend a source that can help you get rid of your debt? " If she does not want help, just sit back and watch. If getting rid of debt is not a priority, are you for the future with conflicting values.